On October 16, 2023, I got the results of an MRI that showed a large mass consistent with a meningioma, a type of tumor of the meninges, which is the tissue separating the skull and the brain. But let's go back a bit.

Things kind of start in March 2023. I had been a software engineer for over 30 years, married to my college sweetheart Julie, with two grown kids. Then the company I was working at collapsed and laid everybody off. I looked for work, but I couldn't seem to get very motivated about it.

I started thinking - maybe there’s other things to do, maybe there are different kinds of work. But I didn't really do anything all summer. This caused increasing tension in the household. Then in July I had a weird memory thing. I woke up and couldn’t remember what happened the day before. The whole day was just a blank. It was very upsetting, but I don't think I told anyone. I re-traced my steps, by looking at my emails and texts and other clues, and I sent myself an email about it. And then I went right back to not doing much. It happened again in August and then again in September. In August I told Julie and I saw my doctor, who took me off the anti-cholesterol medication I was taking. The third time led to an MRI, and on October 16, they brought me in and showed me the meningioma.

Meningiomas are "benign" in that they aren't cancerous, but they are far from being non-impactful to the lives of people who experience them and the people around them. After a few visits with different doctors, I was very lucky to get a referral to a neurosurgeon in Houston who specialized in meningiomas, and he agreed to take me as a patient. Surgery was scheduled for November 9. It was successful and I felt better immediately. I noticed pretty quickly that my executive function (I sometimes call it my 'give a shit-ness') returned. I also noticed that I was feeling emotions on a deeper level than I had in years. I frequently describe it like coming out of a smoky room - you might not notice how bad it was in there until you come out into the fresh air. Suddenly I was crying at sad songs, laughing at funny stories, and feeling things I hadn't felt in years. Unfortunately, I was still unemployed. My marriage was still under a lot of strain. Years of couples counseling had helped some, and years of personal development work with the Man Kind Project had laid a foundation, but in January, Julie and I separated. I needed a source of income right away so I started a Handyman company. I Can Do That handyman services has been in business since January 2024 and is doing very well.